Who we are
Usage of "She", "He", "They" Preferred Pronouns
It means that if you refer to me using a pronoun instead of my name that you can use "she", "he", or "they." For example:
- If Dana goes by "she" pronouns, you could say "Dana went to the store" or "She went to the store."
- If Bill goes by "he" pronouns, you could say "Bill drove to his parents' house" or "He drove to his parents' house."
- If John goes by "they" pronouns, you could say "John flew to Italy for vacation" or "They flew to Italy for vacation."
Often, people make assumptions about the gender of another person based on a person’s appearance or name. Then, they apply those assumptions to the pronouns and forms of address used to refer to a person.
Whether or not these assumptions are correct, the very act of making an assumption can send a potentially harmful message: that people have to look a certain way to demonstrate the gender that they are or are not.
If someone shares their pronouns with you, it’s meant to disrupt the culture of making assumptions and to provide you with the information you need in order to refer to them appropriately.
Just as we generally have names we go by, we also tend to have pronouns that we want to be referred to by. The name or pronouns someone goes by do not necessarily indicate anything about the person’s gender or other identities. Names and pronouns tend to be publicly shared, because they are part of the language commonly used to refer to people. However, identities tend to be private: For example, many people don't proactively share their gender just as many people don't proactively share their race, class, or sexuality with mere acquaintances.
- A person who goes by “she” pronouns is generally referred to using “she” and associated pronouns (only in the third person).“She is a writer and wrote that book herself. Those ideas are hers. I like both her and her ideas.”
- A person who goes by "he" pronouns is generally referred to using "he" and associated pronouns (only in the third person)."He is a financial analyst and started his own company in 2018."
- A person who goes by "they" pronouns is generally referred to using "they" and associated pronouns (only in the third person)."They are a carpenter and build that furniture themself. Those designs are theirs. I like both them and their design style."
Please note that some people go by multiple sets of pronouns or by certain sets of pronouns among only certain audiences (just as some people have different legal names from the primary names they go by, or special names they use in certain spaces, such as pen names or performer/artist names). Again, this space is evolving and it is important for people to remain open to how others would like to be known. If in doubt, ask.